4 Fundamental Leadership Lessons
When it comes to learning to lead, there is so much material available to us these days that knowing where to start can be overwhelming. In-house training, external coaches and mentors, peer-peer sharing, ‘expert’ books with a multitude of psychological and human behavior theories, you name it, it’s out there for the taking. And while I have learned a lot of what I know today from a variety of all of the above, the lessons I learned from being in the chair are by far the most powerful. So here’s a snapshot of four of my most fundamental leadership lessons that will stand anyone in good stead for an effective, and enjoyable, leadership ride!
LEADERSHIP LESSON #1: It starts with you
Understand who you are, know yourself before getting to know others! Ask yourself why you want to take on the role of leader, what is driving and motivating you to do so. This will stand you in good stead to keep driving forward especially when things may feel tough. Clarify what your own personal values are, what good and bad leadership looks like to you based on what you have experienced previously. Understand what makes you tick versus what really gets under your skin and understand how you react when they happen. Dig deep to understand the real reason something bothers you and how you can control your reactions to it, if you are likely to react negatively or lash out, consider how this may be received by others and how you can better manage such situations to avoid losing your credibility. Being self-aware about your own strengths and weaknesses, and being comfortable to own them is critical to the relationships that you will build and how others will go on to buy into you as a leader.
LEADERSHIP LESSON #2: Be real
We have all heard of ‘authentic leadership’ I’m sure, but being comfortable to just be real is critical to your credibility and fundamental trust that you will build. As humans we tend to like people that we can relate to in some way, and that likeability goes a long way to being a leader that people will respect and want to work with. If you are thinking or feeling something, say it! The chances are whatever it is will be a welcome share to those around you who are probably in the same boat. If you forgot to do something that you said you would, own it, hold your hands up and admit it. Do not be a hypocrite, it doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you human and creates vulnerability that will help to build strong relationships. If you can admit when you are not A1, don’t understand something, have lost something, then you set the example for the same level of openness in your team around you and that is a far more healthy and productive environment then one where people are too afraid to speak the truth. Cue nasty surprises, ‘blindside’ resignations, toxic team meetings….the list goes on!
LEADERSHIP LESSON #3: Lead the person, not the task
Have you ever had a 360 review? They can be cutting, but oh so powerful provided you’re willing to hear it! This is the best take away from a 360 review that I recall - lead the person. That sounds obvious and simple I get it but the premise being to really truly understand your people and what makes them fire and adapt your style to give them what they need to do their best work. For years, I would find myself frustrated if a team member didn’t have the same work ethic as me, didn’t give the same level of care or attention in a meeting that I believed it warranted, or if they would rather talk about their weekend then talk about the project at hand - their head obviously wasn’t in the game and they probably wanted to leave……right…..wrong! What was important to me, was not important to them and neither were right or wrong, we were just driven by different things. Different styles of communication, different ways of working to reach the same outcome, different social needs. With a little perspective shift I figured out that by giving them what they wanted ultimately got me what I wanted and we worked so much better as a collective because all of our needs were being met.
LEADERSHIP LESSON #4: No one really wants to be an ars%ho!e
Ok so you’re probably thinking ‘‘Really?! I could name a fair few people that prove you wrong Laura…..!’’ And I don’t doubt it, but here’s the thing, do they really want to act the way they are, do they really want to make your life or their team mates life harder than it needs to be, to be known as the person that no-one wants to be paired with because they’re renowned for being just so difficult…..probably not. So why are they! Well, in my experience they are likely battling something. Life outside work may be wearing them down, they may be covering up a very deep rooted insecurity, they may be ignorant to how they make others feel because no one has ever told them…..a whole spice rack of reasons probably lay behind the behaviors that we see. Now I’m not here to say that these should be excuses and we should just turn a blind eye to bad behaviors but once I took this mindset, it meant I could first come from a place of curiosity and care as opposed what would otherwise have been frustration, anger or lack of respect for repeat offenders. You are far more likely to get the ar%ho!e onside and performing well by listening to them and understanding them, then you are to just point fingers and write them off as ‘too hard’!
There are far more where they came from, but I know that if you can get these right you will have a solid foundation to continue to build on and find your own style that works for you, remember that learning to lead does not have to be about trying to be the same as those more experienced than you. In fact, I truly believe that anyone can be the best leader in the room, and yet be the ‘least experienced’!
If you would like to learn more about Optimise Talent Coaching Leadership Programs designed to help you thrive in and out of work, then get in touch and I’ll be happy to discuss with you.
